Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Just a little update

I know it has been a while since I have posted anything or even read anything. I have been a little busy with everything. The holidays, work, school programs and Chuck's surgery.
Let me start with school program, PJ's program is tomorrow. I can't wait to see him up there singing with everyone. And although he didn't get a solo or a part, there is always next year. He called me crying that he didn't get a solo. I was a little upset, but he doesn't have to try out for chorus next year and when he is in middle school, well, he has an open door to get into choir and drama. Way to go PJ!

Next, the holidays. Oh how I love this time of year. Usually I would be looking at 2 weeks off, but that won't be happening for a while for me. So, I have to put everything around my work schedule. I have missed some of the shows that I wanted to watch, I haven't had a chance to make cookies or anything with the boys. And the mini gingerbread village, turned out to be a disaster. I think gingerbread men will work just fine. I plan on getting them this week.

The new pre-lit Christmas tree is up. And how that was a pleasure to put up this year. Usually I spend about 3 hours just putting lights on the tree. There are more
than enough lights on this tree, it was fun to put up with PJ, while Eric sat on the computer looking for Christmas music.

See, Eric did help to put his ornaments on the tree. That was fine. It was something that PJ and I got to do together.

I have been busy trying to get some shawls done for someone. Everytime that I made one, I ended up taking it out because I didn't like it, or it grew the wrong way. And although it doesn't take me long, I am still working at them. They will be done very soon.

As for Chuck's surgery, it was Tuesday, Dec 9th. Now, that was fun. He called to find out when he was scheduled for, 12:30 surgery time, had to be there by 10. Ok, not a problem. He was told it would only be a 15 - 20 minute surgery. We just didn't think we would be there as long as we were.

We got there about 9:40, got him in a room and just waited. Waited for everytone to show up with orders and instructions. Now since he couldn't eat before the surgery, I waited to eat. I hit the cafeteria while he was waiting to be taken back to surgery.

I got back up to the room and around 11:45 they finally took him away. Ok, I didn't read everything and thought they would start right away. It was an hour or more before they even got to him. They had to put him to sleep. Here we were thinking it would be a local and that would be it.

I get a page at 1, go to the family conference area and wait, wait, wait. Some Dr showed up looking for another family. Turns out I had the wrong pager, comforting, isn't it? I find out they hadn't even started on him yet. So, I head back to the room and then decide I would be more comfortable in the family waiting area, that way I don't have to rush to get to the elevator and then to the waiting area. There wasn't anyone in there, so I took my crocheting and sat there.

I jumped when the pager went off. Scared me half to death! It was loud and vibrating madly. I waited until the surgeon came in. He was very nice and very young! But he told me about the incision that was made and what he had to do. Instead of going into the joint to fix what was wrong, they cut about 1/4 inch off his collarbone and scraped bone spurs off the bone as well. Patched it up with bone wax and closed him up. We originally thought that it was tendon damage and that would be repaired. In the end, it was an arthritic end with bone spurs that was causing all the pain.

I went up and waited some more, alone, waiting on them to return him to the room. Now, I know that he was doped up, so he doesn't remember much of anything. Going to the bathroom was a challenge, and I forgot to turn on the water for him, that caused him a lot of pain. Getting things in order for him was kinda hard too, he was fussy, of course and grumpy, so I had to let all that go and just do the best that I could.

He kept the food down and we finally went home. And he didn't like the way I was driving the MB, so he mentioned for me to slow down, although I wasn't going all that fast. We got him home and settled for a bit, get the pain pills and just wait out the night.

We we at the hospital until 4:30. And we were both tired. He didn't sleep well the night before due to my legs twitching and I knew that sleeping in the recliner wasn't going to work well either, but he tried to lay down, that didn't work well at all.

Getting shirts on and off, washing hair, brushing teeth, putting on deodorant, all little things that we take for granted, is very hard for Chuck to do right now. Buttoning shirts, putting on socks, you don't think of this stuff. You don't realize how much you miss something until it is gone. And right now, he can't use his right arm much at all.

The pain today is still there. He still has his moments, and I understand. I am home until later today, and then I work tonight. I will be home in the mornings to help him get dressed and make breakfast for him. But then I have to work tomorrow and Friday until 4. The boys get home from school and they will be here to help out some too. But you know, kids really don't know what they can do to help much.

And as for me, well, I am tired. Doing it all is rough, but add a person that does need help for a few days, that is just very tiring on me. I will be ok though, it is just for a few days. Sleeping alone in bed when he is on the other end of the house was weird too. Told him to text me if he needed something. That was funny! Didn't get any texts last night from him though. I texted him when I woke up at 6 this morning. I heard the rest of the house up, so I got up too. Plus it stormed here last night. PJ told me, "I just covered my head up, I didn't want to bother you while you were sleeping." There were moments last night that the entire house shook, it was that bad!

I haven't even had time to get gifts ready to mail, to wrap or to make. This holiday season has been busier than normal for me.

I do have one comment to make though, to all that have offered to come out and help some, that offered to cook something for us, I want to thank you. For my church family, although I haven't been to church because of the fact that I have to work on Sundays, you have forgotten about me and my family. In a time of need, you haven't been there. No meals were offered from you, no help was offered either. Now, I got my list made up for groceries and I planned out everything carefully as to what would be easy for Chuck to cut up and eat. So, I took care of that. But no one called me to find out how he was doing, how I was doing. No one showed up at the hospital, my mother-in-law offered, but we thought it would only be a short surgery. But as for the church family, I haven't heard from anyone. Not even a text, only when I texted out to people what was going on. I would like to say thank you for all that you have done for my family, but I can't. I am hurt by all of this. My friends that aren't Christians have been more supportive than a church that I thought was full of friends.

I am putting my soapbox back under my bed until next time.


Johanna said...

Just a few points I'd like to make as a friend who likes to spew her opinion:

Number one: I am glad that Chuck's surgery went well. But. . .
Number two: Don't ever lean on a church family. Ever. While you may think they'll be there if you need them, they won't. My father is still bitter over the lack of church care after my mother's massive stroke. No one came to his rescue.

Oh sure, they talked to my grandmother because she was a faithful church-goer, but as far as the church family, they might say a few words to her in church, but that was it. As far as my mother and my father, forgetaboutit.

My father is still so mad and I was never mad at the church. Why? Because they are human, just like the rest of us. They have lives, just like the rest of us. Unless someone, you or one of your friends or family, calls the church specifically asking for help, don't rely on them to help you through anything because they won't.

If you don't put your hopes in that empty jar, then your hopes won't get shattered. I've learned that lesson a long time ago. And that extends way outside of church, with friends and family, as well.

Just accept what comes along and be thankful for that. For whatever you thought was coming and didn't, don't worry about it because it does no good for you or for them.

I guess that's why I'm no longer a church going person, but my faith remains incredibly strong because in the end, it's just about me and God. That's it. No one else.

Sorry you feel hurt.

And what am I at? Number three?

Don't worry about Christmas. You are only one person. There are two adults in your house. Don't do it all. If it doesn't get done, well, you are only one person. I can't tell you how much I tell Richard that when he freaks out over the workload at work due to tech hours being cut.

If you leave something for the next shift, oh well. You are only ONE person. If you don't get gifts made, sent, or whatever, oh well. You are just one person.

And let me say this: your presence in this life is gift enough for everyone in your life. Gifts of your time is more important than tangible gifts any day. Period.

Christmas isn't about the gifts.

It's not about making sure this gets done or that gets done.

Prioritize what's the most important and drop everything else at the door because after the holiday season, what are people going to remember the most? And I would think your boys are the most important. Dote over them and leave the rest in the dust.

They'll remember spending time with someone who is happy, content and satisfied. If you drive yourself to do everything and to be everything, you are sacrificing yourself in the end. And I can guarantee that anyone who truly loves you as a family member or as a friend will say the same thing.

We'd all rather see you content and happy than ragged but accomplished. See what I mean?


Elaine said...

Wel, I was going to comment, but I think Johanna said it much better than I could have! Very true, her words. I remember when my grandma died. She didn't go to our church, but we had been going to our church at that time for over 30 years, and the pastor didn't say a word about her passing to my father. I thought that was awful.
One thing I will add to what Johanna said: just because people go to church doesn't make them kinder or more compassionate or better people. It just means they go to church, for whatever reason that might be. I know many people who are kinder and more compassionate than those who do go to church. Religious people I am suspicious of. Faith is a totally different thing. : )