Thursday, September 6, 2007

My heart swells with pride

I know I talk a lot about my boys. But I have my reasons. 1 I love them so very much, they play such a huge part in my life alone. 2 I feel that they need to know that they are loved, that they know exactly how I feel about them, and 3 Why not? Life is too short not to be able to share and to show my pride in them.

Ok, well, we have been in school 4 weeks today. Progress reports are coming out for the middle school. Ya know, I was scared when Eric went to middle school. I had met several times with resource in elementary school for him. And I was really concerned about him going into middle school, with nearly 500 students in the 6th grade alone.

I was worried about him not meeting with resource, and with him being unorganized and non-chalant about school. He didn't care about elementary school. He was laid back about it. He loved going to resource, well, it was easy. And it helped him get on silver honor roll.

But when it came to middle school, that is a different world. We all have been there, and done that, and not going back again. It was an awful age, and it was a miserable time in my life. I don't know about y'all.

Anyway, we get the K12 planet. This is where I can go online and view everything that Eric does in school. If he was absent without me knowing, if he got in trouble, or how he did on ALL of his tests.

I get it today, and sit down and view everything. Well, to my surprise his grades are outstanding. Now he did fail the test last week, and we are doing extra credit tonight to bring that up. But even failing that test, he has a B in that class. All of his classes are A's and B's. I never expected that out of him. I know what he produces and I have fought with him to get good grades. But he is so self conscious about his grades, about how he looks, about his performance in school.

I am so happy about that. It has taken this much to get him to do this well in school. But at least he is trying. And that is all that I ask of him.

Now, PJ brought home his week's worth of work. He got an A on his project!! Yippee! I was so happy. He also got A's on spelling, sentences and math! He does try. With him, everything has to be perfect. His room is a different story, but in his life and with school, it has to be perfect. That is just him, he doesn't get it from me! But I do try to encourage him to do well, I try to encourage both of them. And I am happy when we get good reports from both.

I feel sorry for Eric. Usually, it is the younger in the shadow of the older. But for us, it is opposite. Eric is in the shadows of PJ. PJ is smarter, everyone knows that. He is like Chuck, it comes easy to him. Eric, is like me, he has to work for all of his grades. PJ is cuter, but then again, Eric is going through the awkward stage. PJ is funnier, more popular, more torqued up too. Eric is in his shell, he is trying to make more friends, and very laid back.

When they were in the same school, it made it very hard on Eric. He was known as PJ's brother. When PJ started Kindergarten, it would take him 10 minutes to get to the end of the hall to meet with one of us to go home. Why you may ask? He would stop and talk to anyone and everyone. He would go into classrooms and greet the teachers, he knew kids in 5th grade, while Eric was in 3rd. Girls in 5th grade would go down the hallway to hug him before he went home. It took him 2 weeks, and he knew the entire school. It was unreal, I was floored with all of this.

But for Eric it was hard. It made it very difficult on him. He was shadowed by PJ and his popularity.

Now, it is his turn to shine. He doesn't have to go to school with PJ until they are in high school together. And hopefully by that time, Eric will have found his own identity. He would have found himself as a student.

I try so hard not to compare. It does make it hard when PJ comes home from 3rd grade saying it is easy. Knowing that Eric struggled from day one. Knowing that I had to follow up on Eric everyday. I don't have to worry about PJ. And it hurts Eric because he told PJ that he would struggle in 3rd grade. He sees that it is a breeze for him, and it hurts him, but he is also supportive of his brother too.

It amazes me that no matter how much they fight, no matter how much they argue, no matter how much they hate each other at the moment, they love each other unconditionally. They are very close as brothers.

So, I am proud of my boys. I am proud of them as brothers, sons and students. They deserve the grades that they get, they work very hard for them. And for Eric, it is a struggle to get them, but now he is not giving up.