Letting Go

I finally got Eric on a bus that will pick him up in the mornings. But you already know that.
Ok, in the 9 school years that Eric has been going to school, I have driven him most of the time. My dad occasionally, and Chuck would take him sometimes too. As he got older, he and PJ would walk to school. But yesterday morning I was up wondering if he got on the bus ok.
He is 13, I should not have to worry about that, but I did. I got up, looked out the window and didn't see him. Go outside and here he is, standing on the walkway in front of the house. I told him that he has to go to where the bus dropped him off in the afternoon.

He looked at me and I knew right then, he was scared. I felt like he was in Kindergarten again, starting this all over again, going through first day tears once more. Of course he did fine, I would hope so. But still, letting go is so very hard.

I got back in the house, crawled back in bed and I heard the bus stop and get him. Then about 25 minutes later here comes PJ, "Bye Mommy." He was walking to school for the first time, alone. I was a little concerend about that, he is just so small, but I have to, once again, let go. He called my cell when he got there to let me know he was there, and then he called again to let me know that he forgot his lunch box and that I needed to deliver it.

I was a little confused on what to do on Tuesday. I have never been home without the boys, only on the occasional day off that I would take. So, walking around the house on Tuesday and Wednesday felt a little strange. And until my schedule changes, it will be Monday - Wednesday that I will be home, waiting on them to get out of school.

Now, for some really cool news. We all know that all states require standardized testing. The boys take the TCAP in April of every year and eventually, we will get the results back. PJ brought his home yesterday. He scored well above average in reading, I should have known. And incredibly high in math, a subject he doesn't like. Science was average, nothing special there, but Social Studies, he scored a 207 out of 280 possible points. He was just a few points shy in every category to score above average in that too. He is smart, there is no doubt there at all. Just what is he gonna do with it?????