Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Missing out

Over the years, I haven't missed out on a whole lot in regards to the boys. I have been to every football practice, missed one game. Been to every play practice, everything that happened at school I was there. Field trips, if I could arrange it, I was there. Projects I helped on. Teaching them how to read, how to color, trick or treating with them, decorating for Christmas, teaching them how to make cookies, mix pudding or to sew. I have been there. So, I have been one of the very fortunate mothers that, although I have worked, I haven't missed out on anything in their life. I know what where that priority lies, and I knew what I needed to do.

There is a gentleman that works with me. I trained him in the delivery aspect of the job and then I coached him on the other things inside the store. Very nice man, a bit younger than me, but then again, so is everyone else there. He has 2 children, a daughter that is 7 and a son that is 2. They moved here not to long ago from Colorado, found a house, and really like the area. He, like me, lost a very well paying job, and needed to find another source of income. So, he started at Pizza Hut about a month ago, enjoys it, but then found another job during the day.

He told me, "I don't want my wife to work. I need to have another job that pays better than this." Number 1, don't knock the pay. Tips are good, and you can make good money at it. And he is a salesman, so he knows that you have to have good personality to get good tips. There are some there that are not very friendly and they don't get jack. Number 2, aren't YOU missing out on your children? I found out that he works 80 hours a week. He worked last night until 11 and got up this morning at 5:30. He isn't there when his kids get up, not there to have dinner with, and isn't there when they go to bed. What kind of life is that?

When PJ was very little, he would babble, he is a talker and we all know it. But when he was about 2, he would go on and on. It was annoying, but it was cute too. Chuck looked at my dad, "Ray, was she this way and this age?" My dad response, "I don't know, I wasn't around." And he wasn't. He never went to my plays, I couldn't be in any chorus or sports because of the fact that I didn't have a way to get there. He never went to a parent teacher conference. The only teacher that he knew was the one that he wanted to date, that went over like a fart in church. He didn't take the time to play board games or cards with me. The first board game I ever owned was one that I bought for Eric.

So, I look at this guy at work, and I understand why he is doing this. I understand that kids need to have one parent at home, and that is a good thing. But I make the effort with the boys to do the stuff that I do with them. I still go to lunch with PJ, I am going to go to the open house, even though I am very tired, I can't let that get in the way of something that he wants to do with me. I am still a mother, and I am still their friend. I want to be their friend, like my mom is my friend.

I don't like missing out on bedtimes. But this is a new phase in my life, Chuck had to pay the price to get to where he is at, and I will too, if I want the same. But working 80 hours a week, that just isn't in the cards for me. I love my boys way too much to miss out on any part of their lives.